I guess I should preface this entry with the fact that I have been in a foul mood since early yesterday evening...so consider yourself warned.
I am at the point of throwing my hands in the air. I love my gelding to pieces. He is reminiscent of my first horse Cody, who was trustworthy enough that I could jump on him bareback and do just about anything. Samson has the same kind of gentle demeanor. He isn't perfect - he's a little piggish at times, but in general is such a babysitter, I trust him in pretty much any situation. Well, he has been through the ringer since the day we bought him. He's had surgery, he's been on stall rest, we've tried shoes of all kinds, the chiropractor, supplements...you name it, we've tried it. My vet's words keep ringing in my ears..."at some point, you just have to decide whether it's worth it to keep trying to stick them together with tape and glue, or if you're better off putting them out to retire in the pasture and just enjoy life...."
I'm at that point.
I should have never bought him. I learned the hardest lesson of all through getting him - NEVER buy a horse without a FULL vet check...xrays, etc. It doesn't matter if the horse is FREE, never again will I take one on without a lengthy vet check. Now, it's not to say that they won't be injured the day you bring them home. That's a risk you take with horses. But in Samson's case, xrays would have shown the rare congenital defect of his navicular bones, and I wouldn't have purchased him. The problem now is that I am attached. And unlike many people in this world, I can't justify handing him off to be someone else's problem, or giving him away where I have no oversight of his future. My bad decision doesn't justify him having a bad life because I can't afford him anymore. If I had my own place, it would be a piece of cake to just throw him out as a pasture ornament to go enjoy his life. But I am a boarder, and now I keep writing endless checks for a horse who can't be ridden.
So today, life kind of sucks. I know it is a part of owning horses. It is such a hard lesson to be learned though.
My sweet boy...