Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Anything is Possible...Right??

Yesterday was a long yet productive day.  I awoke to my new alarm clock - this amazing combination of gradually increasing light and sound - ready to tackle the day and get into the new routine.  An extra horse means a little extra time for morning feedings, flipping around pasture arrangements, etc, so I made sure to allow myself an extra buffer.

Jonah is settling in well.  He is the bottom man on the totem pole.  In a lot of ways, he reminds me of Samson when I first got him, and I can't help wondering if he will come into his own once we get him feeling better.  I have a sneaking suspicion he could have ulcers, so I am debating a few different treatment options to test out the theory.  He was integrated into a small herd last night with Samson and Rosie, and I quickly discovered he would be chased off his hay if his pile wasn't put out pretty far away.  Poor guy - he was standing in the trees with his head hanging low; didn't even attempt to fight for his food.  No wonder he has a hard time keeping his weight up.

I tacked him up for a light hack last night.  I know he is seriously out of shape and on the skinny side, so I don't plan to do much other than get him going at this point.  He was good about pretty much everything.  A little fussy about taking contact, but not nearly as heavy on my hands as the other day when I tried him.  When he picked up his left lead canter he threw in a couple little bucks, but it was minor and the second I threw out a verbal correction he settled into a relaxed canter.  He is a lot of fun to ride; not intimidating in the slightest.

We busted through the remaining chores, and I had about 40 minutes til rushing to dog class with Toby (aka not-so-tiny-Terror), my golden retriever.  I tacked April up and headed out back to get in the second ride of the day.  She was really good overall.  I am working a lot on relaxing through my arms and carrying my hands correctly, and I have found that she really appreciates the difference of a softer contact.  It has really started to eliminate a lot of the issues we were having, and I feel like we are making tiny improvements with each and every ride.  I am working really hard on continuing to reverse my automatic reaction of going to the inside rein.  Two and a half years of being taught the opposite on Delilah has been really challenging to overcome, but I think I am starting to make a little progress.  I find myself becoming more and more aware of when I am doing it, so correcting myself has become more frequent.

It has been a weird couple weeks overall.  I know that I need to get a couple of lessons in - that always helps.  But it seems like everything has been beating my up a bit lately.  I feel insecure about the entire Jonah situation - doubting whether I did the right thing.  He has yet to get a single compliment, I'm not a trainer by any stretch of the imagination...so other than getting him fat, what can I possibly do for him??  I fight the inevitable insecurity in my riding ability, always wondering when I am going to "get it".  Sometimes I feel like riding is the most unnatural thing in the world to me.  I look at my friends and how easy it appears to be for them, and I wonder when everything will finally start to click for me.  I wonder when my seat will become independent of my leg, when I will quit burying my hands in my lap, tensing up and having football arms, falling back on my butt instead of sitting correctly on my seatbones.....so many things I wonder about.  I wish more than anything that I had the time and money to fully devote myself to developing as a rider, every single day, on a regular basis.  But then I look at people like Kelsey and realize that it can be done without a trainer holding your hand 24/7.  But can it be done for everyone?  I can't help but think it is extremely rare.  It is a natural talent to feel everything that is going on underneath you, and sadly it is something that I have yet to really develop.  One day, I hope....

For now, the best I can do is what I am doing.  Time in the saddle, time on the ground reading, watching, listening, and learning.  Anything is possible if you set your mind to it....right?


Jonah's arrival on the farm; Monday, February 20th

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