Last night was another one of those huge steps. My new mare, whom I absolutely adore, decided to act up a bit. And by a bit, I really mean, an awful lot....
Everything started out normally. The horses had eaten, I tacked up, put on her sport boots, and headed to the back to hopefully put our previous day's lesson into practice and possibly even school over a few fences. Things started out without a hitch - we had a great walk, solid trot work, and a beautiful relaxed canter. I trotted into the first line, and she went over both fences without a hitch. That's when it started to fall apart. As I approached the line the second time, I could tell she was anticipating. Her head started creeping higher and higher, and she lost her hind end completely. I did the best I could to fix it as we came to the first fence, but by that point I just had to ride through the line, which was pretty rushed. She has a tendency to hit the ground and want to RUN after the fence, but most days it is fairly manageable. Last night, it was taking every bit of strength to bring her back to a relaxed canter. Next approach to the line, I focused on our pace up to the fence, and when she tried to run against me, I checked her with a good solid half-halt with both my seat and rein. Too much...we ended up pulling a rail because she sucked back like crazy at the last minute. Argh. Came around to approach one more time, and by then, she was feeling completely frazzled, so I took a moment to focus on our flatwork. I put her onto a twenty meter circle, trying to get her to relax and step from behind again, rather than running around with her head cranked in the air. Much to my surprise, she kept trying to break into a canter. Every time I asked her to go back to a trot, she would suck into an up-and-down collected canter that was nearly in place. At one point, I asked for a halt, and then for a walk, and when I asked for the canter she did a fraction of a canter pirouette. Okay, I have to admit, that was cool, but the fact that Miss April was running the show was NOT cool, as evidenced by what happened next...
I thought (key word!!!) I had pulled us back together, so I headed back towards the line, determined to get ONE GOOD JUMP to end on. We can NOT end on a bad not. Well, as soon as we headed that way, she would break into a canter and blow off my outside aids, which resulted in a big bulging turn and wretched approach to the fence. I literally tried three times in a row, and she kept bulging through the outside. I took mental inventory - from head to toe - trying to see if it was anything I was creating. I couldn't come up with anything. At this point, she kept trying to break from the trot into a canter, and was completely marching to her own beat. I kept insisting that she come back to a trot and stay with me, and that is when she just flat shut down on me. She stopped dead and refused to go forward. At one point, she tried to start backing up with me. Well, if there is one thing that Renie drilled into my head, it was that you do not evade by backing up - it is completely unacceptable. I tried using my hand as a whip - she refused to move. Robyn grabbed me a weedy little branch to use, and oh boy, did I use it. At first, she blew it off. Then she broke into a sideways canter....towards the hill at the back of the ring. She completely blew off my aids and was nearly running backwards, sideways, and crowhopping at the canter, all at the same time. We literally stopped before tumbing backwards down a pretty good sized hill, and I took a moment to catch my breath...and shove down my nerves.
At this point, my legs are killing me, I'm breathing like a freight train, my knee hurts from having to mount from the ground twice after resetting poles....but it doesn't matter, because we cannot end like this. Robyn told me later that she was supremely impressed by how I handled the situation, because she was pretty sure things were going to blow up really bad at a couple different points. I told her it was simple. I was scared as you-know-what, but I REFUSE to have another Delilah situation on my hands. I am not going to be afraid of my horse, and I am not going to set us up for failure in that aspect. So I had to win, right when the issue presented itself.
So back to the ride. At this point, I literally threw her away and held the reins on the buckle. If there is one thing I know about this mare from Ivy, it is that when she arrived, she would not go forward. Period. And I am not going to be responsible for that behavior reappearing! So I threw her head away, prayed to God she listened to my seat, and asked for a simple walk. This time, she responded. I asked for a trot, still trusting her to follow my seat and not having any contact or tension on the reins. Don't get me wrong - she was chugging around at a pretty good pace, but she did stay with me for the most part. The best part was that I started coaxing her to relax through her back and give me a big, stretchy trot - and she responded. It could literally feel all the tension melting away. I told Robyn that I wanted to canter, but wasn't sure if I should pick that battle again. She responded with a question instead of an answer - could my legs hold up if I did try? I laughed, and said they would have to. I let out a huge deep breath, and asked for the canter, focusing on a light rein with minimal contact, and a soft and allowing seat - and she responded. No more hopping up and down, no more blowing through the outside aids, running sideways - it was back to the usual soft, relaxed, supported canter. I did two circles, then hopped off to loosen the girth.
I promptly collapsed to the ground when my mounting knee buckled underneath me, and my wobbly muscles refused to bail the knee out to hold me up. Oops....
So, I feel like jello today, but I am victorious. I didn't let my nerves win. I'll be honest, in the moment, I was S-C-A-R-E-D. It really was turning into a meltdown fast. But I have to credit every single trainer I have worked with for giving me each piece of the solution that came together in a successful ending. Renie, for teaching me to steadfastly REFUSE to accept the unacceptable behaviors, Kelsey, for teaching me the "stretchy trot" method that used to be the best solution for getting Delilah to relax through her back and get her head back in the game when she got frazzled, and Ivy, for the very recent help on quieting my seat and allowing rather than driving. All three of these things gave me the tools to blast past the fear in the moment, and instead find the solution to the problem. I look back today with so much pride, because six months ago, it could have realistically turned into so much of a bigger issue in my head. But instead, I now have one more experience under my belt to reassure me that I can handle things, even when they go badly. I think we are on the right track!!!!!
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