Thursday, November 1, 2012

Breaking the Silence

I have been noticeably absent from blogging for awhile.  It isn't that things haven't been happening, it is more a matter of not knowing how to say everything that is going on.  I have been in total overwhelm mode, and in all honesty have been a bit hesitant to lay things out for general consumption.

I have been navigating what feels like a series of minefields - in my work life, personal life, the horse world - pretty much everywhere.  It is exhausting to say the least, so I have done a bit of hiding, as it is my general defense mechanism.

I may be losing my job.  Even typing it sucks, but the truth is, my property is being sold in the next few weeks.  And nine times out of ten the new management companies lay off existing staff members - usually from the top down, which doesn't bode well for me as the manager.  I am hoping and praying that this isn't what happens, but so far things are not looking promising.

Samson is holding steady in terms of his recovery.  He had a fantastic week or two where we was perky and upbeat, even galloping in for breakfast in the mornings.  The last day or two he has been markedly depressed and not quite himself.  Clinically he is fine, but something is not quite right.  I have a sneaking suspicion we may need to get the EPM treatment underway.  He was approved for the clinical trial for a new drug called Oroquin-10, so his treatment will be significantly cheaper; but still not inexpensive by any stretch.  I am really hoping to see him perk up soon, and for the moment, I am monitoring things very closely.

There hasn't been much to report on the April front.  My poor girl took a backseat during all the chaos with Samson, and about the time he stabilized enough that I could get back to work with her, she started up with an adverse reaction that took her out of work for the better part of a week.  So now we are trying to get back to our usual training routine amidst massive weather swings.  Needless to say, last night's ride in what FELT like subzero conditions was rather interesting.  :-)  We had a bit of a conversation about which of us was going to be in charge, but got to a great note to end on.  I am still mastering the art of when to use a firm hand, and when to allow and give to her when little issues crop up.  It can be such a delicate balance, especially with a mare...sometimes it seems their moods change more frequently than my own!!

So, obviously there have been plenty of stresses and worries going on, but through them all, I am trying to focus on the positive, which lately has been the farm.  For the last few weeks I have been undergoing research and negotiations to expand the farm to a bigger location - and as of today, we officially hold a lease for a new property!  It is right around the corner from our current location, but we will be expanding to 25 acres of actual pasture, as well as many other upgraded features.  I am ecstatic, even though I know it is going to be a LOT of work to get it set up the way we have envisioned it.  Thankfully, the farm expansion has been an excellent distraction for me to pour my worries into, and it gives me a major positive to focus on instead of all the negatives.

I even set up a website, so if you're interested, check it out here!


  1. *big hugs* hopefully everything works out. The website looks great.

  2. Website looks great! Hope everything works in your favor!

  3. Love the website! Heres to everything falling into place and working perfectly :)

  4. Becca, I really have to compliment you on your website. Somehow, with your Big Move and all that's been going on in your life you managed to create a professional-looking and sounding website for your farm. I have seen websites for much larger, much more established barns that are not NEARLY as attractive, well-organized or nice looking! This website would certainly entice me into finding out more and stopping by to see your facility. Well done, indeed.